22 Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
Lately God has really been pressing me hard on the issue of selflessness. I want to give more and take less, but I find myself still wanting more. I tell Jesus I want to live a radical life for him...one that is different from what the world expects or considers normal, but find that I still desire the things of this world and become discontent with my present circumstances. I want to live like the ravens. They store nothing, yet have all they need.It's been frustrating..kind of like:
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
Yesterday God revealed to me the root of the problem. I read a blog post that talked about the Birthday Project . It's basically where people do random acts of kindness for others on their birthdays instead of making it a day about themselves. All day yesterday while running errands I found myself thinking of things I would do...On the way home I clearly heard God ask me, "why aren't you doing these things already?" I then began to think about the things I do for others...there unfortunately wasn't much to think about. I realized my fear and worrying about myself and having enough for me was keeping me from giving to others. My focus is constantly on myself that I miss opportunities to help others. God has provided for us over and over again in the past 4 years. There's so many stories where there was no way we could pay for something and then a check came or someone took care of it for us. It was the times where we were empty handed that God showed up and filled our hands with his blessings, proving over and over that you can't out give God. I want to keep my hands empty. Jack and I both have been rethinking things when it comes to money and our motives for what we do.
Two simple things that I want to put into practice are 1) if making a clothing purchase, I must give 2 items of clothing away. This will cause me to stop and think if I really need this item and will keep me from hoarding clothes that I never wear 2) looking for baby clothes first at thrift stores, then consignment/clearance. I want to put money away for their college instead of spending it on something they will wear for a few months (we'll probably save for 18 years and only be able to pay for her books by then!!). These 2 things will be hard to stick to I'm sure, but we're accountable with every dollar God blesses us with and I want to stick to my convictions and give more and take less.
and because she's smiling without gas now..
*I wasn't sure where to put the headband on her head? where do you learn that kind of stuff?;)